Decor Explorer: Weak Transmission

One of the most challenging things I have had to overcome in my life is my inability to communicate ideas. I have always had a meek voice, afraid of what the masses would say. So I have played quietly in the background too afraid to try. I have let this fear shape my life. It has kept me from taking chances and going after the things that I really want in my life. I have allowed others to decide what is best for me.

I have learned that there is no prize in playing small. We were meant to play loud and be heard!

It took me a long time to trust and express my design voice. I was terrified that others wouldn't like my ideas or would shun them. So when I first started out, my colors were bold and crazy and my designs were very loud. It was as if my meek little voice was saying:
"Look I know your going to hate my designs so here! Here is my worst now mock it and get it over with!"
And of course once it was mocked, I would stay up all night changing it to something more aesthetically pleasing to the masses. So wrong!

If you love something stand up for it! And definitely don't play small with hopes of not being judged! THEY will judge you anyway and you will go through life with this pit in your stomach knowing you could have done better! It's a bitter taste to have to swallow everyday.

I have always had this ability to see my designs already finished. I can hold a paint swatch in my hand and already see it on my walls. I can touch a sofa and already see exactly where it will go in my home. It's a frustrating thing to have that kind of vision but have no outlet to communicate it or even to be afraid to.

Once I overcame the fear, I fought to find a way to voice my ability. Sure I took a few design classes not enough to really grant me the tools I needed though. So I had to keep looking for that instrument that would allow me to show people what I saw.

I used to cut out magazine photos and put the pics inside shoe boxes....making my own rudimentary doll houses. It was a tool, sure. But it was like a caveman drawing where I SAW the Sistine Chapel. So I kept looking. I discovered the Sims video games which allowed me to design houses, rooms, even pick furniture patterns and colors. And for a long time this tool was the most effective for me. It felt like I was able to finally express the vision.

But then I started feeling limited by the tools on the game as well. I mean if I SEE a mural I can't convey that through a game. Or if I SEE a type of furniture that the game catalog didn't have in stock, there was no way to fake it. And this became very frustrating for me.

Then I discovered Pinterest. Pinterest allowed me to FIND exactly what I SAW and pin all my ideas on a board and cluster them together. But it doesn't convey how those items will look in the room all together.

I knew at that point there was no choice but to start drawing my ideas. Oy! Although I took a few drawing classes, I still feel awkward about my final images. Although they show the layout that I SEE, it still feels as if I am coming up short with my ability to SHOW what I am SEEING! If only I could put my hand on your head like in the movies and I could just transmit the idea right in to your brain.

I don't know if there is anyone else out there who feels trapped by their inability to communicate their ideas clearly and effectively....but if you do WELCOME KINDRED SPIRIT!

This idea below is on a board that I created on Pinterest. I didn't even bother trying to draw this one because it just will not convey the beauty that I see. So please put on your imagination cap and try very hard to visualize these items with me. I apologize because these were ideas, I do not have all of the links to the specific items or any idea of cost. But to me the look is SO beautiful I don't care the cost!

So first I discovered this drawing on Pinterest. And immediately I SAW this projected on a wall behind a bed.

Then I came across this bedding and thought OMG this would really look great against my Enchanted Forest Background.

And that headboard of that bed above suddenly let me SEE a wall of windows....with this fun swing hanging in the corner. Just like this with the pillows, the touch of faux fur even that awesome log side table!

Then I did a little digging and I discovered this simple yet time-worn dresser. I love how it mimicks the aged wood of the headboard.

How about this area rug to soften the floor! Oh how I LOVE to play with texture!

Then I found this chandelier. I just love the crystals! Again playing with texture and elements...hard vs. soft.

And for my favorite part, I decided to PLAY with the Enchanted Forest idea.....Can you even imagine how that would look near the bureau to have real birch trees from floor to ceiling! Love that!